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Discussion in 'Social Discussion' started by Eetha, Jan 12, 2016.
haha! ibet he doesn't. I should start buying things for the monster. I bet she'd enjoy that!
i like to sabotage myself. peace out.
How does anyone get through having a newborn? She's only happy, like, 15 minutes a day and the rest of the time she's eating or sleeping or screaming and I feel like the world's worst mother ever.
It's human nature, but as someone who constantly fucks up good things, that doesn't help make it feel less shitty.
Everything I tried to write sounded so trite, so just know I'm thinking of you.
I think the world's worst mother ever probably thinks of herself as a great mom, the fact that you don't is because you care and want to do better, and that's what makes a good parent.
parenting a newborn is fucking hard, especially when you don't have a rainbow unicorn happy-24/7 baby. It doesn't make you the worst mother ever, believe me. I'm talking from experience...I actually had postpartum psychosis after kiddo was born. I don't talk about it a lot because it's still something I'm ashamed of, but I was seeing and hearing things, dreaming about hurting him and then myself...it was bad. But I got help and I 100% know I'm not a bad mom. And neither are you. I guess my point is that even if you get mad at her, are impatient, whatever, it doesn't make you a bad mom. It isn't going to scar her for life if you set her down and let her cry while you go take a breather for a few minutes. You need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of her. I won't go into a PPD spiel, but you can PM me if you want to talk about it.
i couldn't even imagine that, i am so sorry. newborns are hard. i just went to a 1st birthday party of a co-workers kid, and he was so miserable the first six months. but now that kid is freaking cute as a button and even with teething sleeps. so they survive because it wont be like this for long? that's actually a daruis rucker song.... won't be like this for long
Sometimes just blech
I probably should have gotten help when my daughter was small, but I didn't. I know I had a few posts on here about it. I'm not sure what they would have done since I didn't seek it, but it might be better than white-knuckling it.
Mine used to scream for hours in the dark and not sleep and I would have to stand and walk her around. I thought I was going to die. The ONLY thing that helped me was adjusting my expectations. Which is kind of shitty, but it does mildly help. I would tell myself "I'm not going to sleep tonight. I'm going to stay up all night and watch Seinfeld and my baby will scream, but I'll put closed captions on so I can read along." instead of "the baby won't let me sleep". I watched all of Seinfeld, all of CYE, tons of weird movies on the hallmark channel. Another good one is "she's HAVING a hard time, not GIVING ME a hard time".
I used to get so pissed when people would tell me "this too shall pass", because RIGHT NOW is what you need help with, but it's a crappy time that will be better soon.
<3 to you
When I had my first kid, my best friend's mom offered up some advice. "you're going to feel like you're fucking it all up and most of the time, that just means you're doing a good job". Newborns are hard. #2 was my screamer and even though I felt like a shit mom, sometimes you have to take a breather. I would put him in a safe place, like his crib and take 2 minutes to compose myself before going back in the room.
I feel a little pathetic lately.
Booked a mini-solo vacation to Denver later this month (legit only 2 days).
Most of what I do is solo nowadays. This is probably just bitching (it is). I need to make some more RL friends. I look back over the years and at the friendships and relationships I’ve had and it almost feels foreign to me now. I find it extra mentally challenging to make new friends now. Maybe that’s just my brain making excuses for me.
I think it's a thing that just happens with getting older. You're not naturally around large groups of people your own age anymore so you have to put in much more of an effort to find new real friends.
my brain is such a dick
"hey instead of focusing on work why don't you think about this thing that's been making you feel shitty the last few weeks? that's more fun right?"
the bag of chicken I had in the freezer that i felt obligated to use is disgusting and 75% of it was weirdly colored, veiny, or gristly. Then I went to go get a tupperware for the 25% of chicken that was good and A FUCKING SPIDER WAS IN MY FACE . (I don't know where it is now. I tried ot hit it and it got on my shoe, and then it disappeared) and now I just wanna like go for a walk or something but it's storming and I can't.
edit: yes I know that's a ridiculous response to gross food and a spider. no I don't know how to not do it.
making friends as you get older sucks. Last summer i did a lot of solo trips. Probably planning some in the future - all the friends have significant others and responsibilities and won't up and leave with me LOL. Denver sounds fun!
I really just want to not be living anymore
I know how that is. Be careful. Reach out to a suicide hotline/chat, or take yourself to the ER, if you think you're going to act on it. Please. I'm 100% positive there are people that care about you.
I couldn’t make it a week without royally fucking up again.