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sad pandas support group

Discussion in 'Social Discussion' started by Eetha, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. Jakey

    Jakey
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    Green Bay, WI

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    I was supposed to work both yesterday and today but obviously not at work so yeah... i stayed home and didnt call in which probably isnt smart but yea. i cant even get out of bed
     
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  2. Jaded

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    The real themildone

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    I know you probably dont' want to but I'd really recommend calling in today if you can make yourself, that way you won't lose your job.
     
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  3. Jakey

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    Green Bay, WI

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    my peer specialist (basically a therapist who meets outside of an office, and has experienced what you are currently and has a little more insight.. she's coming over today and i'm going to have her with me when i call because i just cant bring myself to call in by myself
     
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  4. themildone

    themildone
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    the real Jaded

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    I'm so glad you have that resource, though! (I feel weird referring to a person as a resource but hopefully you know what I mean)
     
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  5. Jakey

    Jakey
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    Green Bay, WI

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    I get what you mean. i have a good support system, this is however the first time i've used it and recognized when i've needed it before it was too late. progress
     
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  6. themildone

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    the real Jaded

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    AMAZING progress. It took my forever to figure out it isn't weak or some other stupid adjective to use your support system. :highfive:
     
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  7. sinon

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    Watashi ga Kita!

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    *hugs*

    I am so sorry :( I can imagine you feel awful about it but like Jaded said, please don't blame yourself. We are all human and can only do so much within reason. It's good that someone got to her. I wish I had advice to give on the family but unfortunately mine has done the same. My dad tried to kill himself with pills after Hurricane Irma and everyone kinda acts like it didn't happen... But the good thing is that your sister was saved from herself in a way. I'm not sure what options are available or circumstances, but maybe she would be willing to get some help with a bit of convincing. Suicide/suicidal thoughts are no joke for sure... (and I am sure you know that...) so even if family is willing to help, they likely just don't know enough or have experience to cope...

    Maybe just try to be there for her if you can, but don't take the burden of blame on yourself. That shit will ruin you :( I know it's past Sunday, but wanted to check in with you. How are things going now? Is your sister doing okay? :hug:
     
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  8. Daniel

    Daniel
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    Okay, set multiple alarms to wake up, second one took. Dad went in, he gets the hormone shot and that slows the growth. He was diagnosed over a year ago, they didn't operate to take it out because it had spread. Doctor says the hormone shots have slowed the growth and he's doing well.
     
  9. themildone

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    the real Jaded

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    for fucks sake, I don't know why I even bother. Remember I said last week my therapy appointment was cancelled because they fucked up and scheduled someone else for my appointment time? Well, they just called and left a message that my appointment today is cancelled and they can't get me in until the 22nd. I really, really needed this appointment. I'm so fucking tired of trying.
     
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  10. themildone

    themildone
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    the real Jaded

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    Just called the office back and told them I really, really need to see a therapist. got manager approval to see a different therapist at 11. except my flaky mom just fucking said she's not taking me or watching kiddo so guess who can't see a therapist anyway? I seriously can't deal right now.
     
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  11. ducky

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    planned obsolescence

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    was thinking about finally setting up shit with a therapist but really second guessing it right now. why does every doctor have to fail me or make things difficult
     
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  12. themildone

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    the real Jaded

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    ugh don't let my experience persuade you. I live in a tiny town, so the therapists have to travel an hour or more to get here, so there's a high turnover rate. I'm sure pretty much anywhere else would have better results.
     
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  13. ducky

    ducky
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    planned obsolescence

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    Nah, I just had a few phonecalls myself about my medication cuz my psychiatrist (old psychiatrist, i guess, since she left) fucked up. Kinda panicking until I get a call back later, if they even bother.
     
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  14. savvylabell

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    i'm so sorry, that sucks. If it aint one thing its another. i dont appreciate that your family doesnt take mental health seriously
     
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  15. themildone

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    the real Jaded

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    aaand therapy is back on now. I seriously have no fucking clue lmao
     
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  16. ducky

    ducky
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    planned obsolescence

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    hopefully nothing changes again and you can get some help
     
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  17. electrolyte

    electrolyte
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    I'm stressed out over an Ebay/PayPal dispute and I can't stop thinking about it. (Sorry, this is super long.)

    A guy bought 8 (collectible type) books from me for a total of $110 plus shipping/handling. Since they were 8 individual auctions with individual shipping prices, the total for shipping came to $35. I don't normally do combined shipping discounts because I rarely use Ebay for selling (it's not on my listings as something I offer). But I recently inherited a storage container and I've been selling the stuff in it and I'm almost done (yay). The buyer asked me (in a grumpy eyerolly email) to discount the shipping, so I gave him an $18 discount, for a total of $17 for shipping/handling. When I shipped it, the box cost $8 to send via Medial Mail at the post office which meant $9 for handling, which I counted for the extra thick bubble wrap I got for his heavy box, the heavy duty packaging tape, and my time/gas to get to the post office.

    Tracking showed that the box arrived safely at his house. Cool. Then I got a nasty email from him saying the box arrived with a rip in the side which he said meant I didn't package it well. However, he said that nothing was damaged inside. Good. Then he said one of the books had a weird residue on the cover which he cleaned off. Okay, whatever. I didn't see any residue when I had the books here, but the books were all listed in used condition so I guess it's possible one had something on the cover but he said he cleaned it off, so fine. He added that other than the residue, the books were "almost exactly as described" which cracked me up because my auctions literally had nothing in the item description section other than the book's title and author, and they were tagged as "used condition" in the listing. I didn't provide any other descriptions for them so I'm not sure how they could be "almost exactly" as I described if there really was no description.

    Then he emailed saying the postage on the box showed it was $8 and he paid $17 for shipping so I owe him $9 and I'm a fraud if I don't refund it immediately. I didn't reply because that's just stupid. I called Ebay on the phone to ask if he was correct. The representative said he was wrong and I can charge $9 for handling if I want and he's lucky I didn't just make him pay the full $35 which were the terms of the auction before I kindly gave him an $18 discount.

    Yesterday, he left 8 negative feedback reviews, all nasty and making untrue claims like I charged him the full $35 for shipping (which I didn't) and that I'm a scammer and fraudulent. I called Ebay and they agreed he was off his rocker, and they removed the negative reviews.

    This morning, I woke up to an email from PayPal saying he's filed a claim with them for a full refund of all of his money saying that the books "were not as described". First, I'm confused why he didn't file this claim with Ebay since that's where he bought the books, but whatever. So I logged into PayPal's resolution center and uploaded screenshots of his message to me saying the books arrived with no damage and were "almost exactly as described". I added a screenshot of one of the listings showing that there was no description provided, beyond the title and author, and the books were tagged as "used". I added the invoice I sent him showing the $18 shipping discount. I added the USPS tracking page showing the box arriving at his house. Now I have to wait around for PayPal to review it and make a decision.

    I'm 99% sure I'm in the right here and PayPal will decide this in my favor. But I'm ridiculously worked up about it. PayPal said they may take until July 12 to review and resolve this so I guess I'm just going to have to fret and wait around for them and this won't be quick. Since he still hasn't opened a claim in the Ebay resolution center, I expect I have that coming next. I was shaking so much and had a hard time breathing when I saw the negative feedback he left yesterday and when I called Ebay about it. I wish I could be the type of person to just let that kind of stuff roll off my back but I never have been. I know logically in the big scheme of life, it really doesn't matter but my brain doesn't get that. It's a total panic attack whenever something like this happens, even if I haven't done anything wrong and it's fully an issue with the other person. Sigh.

    Edited to add: I decided to call Paypal just to see if there was anything I could do to speed up their review. The woman I spoke to said she would look into it and send an email if she had an update. A few minutes after I hung up, I got an email that says: "This claim does not qualify for a refund because it does not meet our definition of Significantly Not as Described. This case is now closed, but we still encourage you to work directly with the buyer to find a resolution." Okay, so I don't have to refund him any money and it's closed now. But I don't know if this prevents him from opening another claim or opening a claim with Ebay still. Hopefully it's enough discouragement that he'll just give up and leave me alone.
     
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    #1357 electrolyte, Jun 14, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
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  18. Sondi

    Sondi
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    Goddess of soup

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    trying not to go down the anxiety rabbit hole waiting for the call from my son's new speech therapist after her preliminary visit yesterday.. she mentioned a few things like jaw sliding and lip weakness that I hadn't really noticed before but we didn't want to talk too much about it in front of him because he understands too much. I feel like I haven't been as patient and caring with him as I should be after she was going on and on with how cute he is and I just felt like a bad mom even though I'm doing a good thing getting him back into therapy. My 18 month old daughter is "easier to love" at the moment since she doesn't intentionally go against me or whine or do any of those normal 4-year-old things and I feel really guilty about that. And I have another call set for Monday to do intake for early intervention and getting a behavioral eval at the urging of my SIL (a kindergarten teacher). I don't know if there's anything there to worry about or if it's just speech/language but it's stressful. And all the talking on the phone is stressful.

    parenting is fucking hard.
     
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  19. themildone

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    the real Jaded

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    goodness, that's a lot to deal with. Sorry you got an asshole for a customer. I'm so glad paypal dealt with it sooner than expected, and they decided in your favor. And since Ebay has already said he's nuts, I bet if he opens a complaint with them it'll just be a matter of time before it's closed. I totally understand the anxiety, though. Just selling stuff on the facebook yard sale pages is enough to get my anxiety up, I can't imagine trying to do it through ebay/paypal AND with a difficult customer. :hug: It definitely sounds like you're in the right though and this guy is a scammer.
    I obviously haven't been a parent as long as you have (mine is almost 3) but one thing I'm 100% sure of is that you can't be patient and caring and doting all the time. Sometimes kids are jerks and it's okay to tell yourself your kid is being an ass. That doesn't mean you caused any of his issues or were negligent in noticing there was a problem. And you know, if you were a shitty parent, you wouldn't be this worried about it. You wouldn't be trying to get him an early intervention eval or back into therapy if you didn't care. You're doing the best you can right now, and to me it seems like you're doing everything you should be.
     
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  20. Sondi

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    Goddess of soup

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    thank you :love: It's true that kids can be jerks (a lot!), but I think I also need to work on my warmth with him.

    Update: the phone call was good and this lady seems much more experienced/knowledgeable than the last therapist we had (we took a break when she had a baby and my son started preschool). She actually works for the state early intervention company so I know she sees tons of kids. She is even going to observe him at school when he goes back for summer camp. She think he's at about 50% intelligibility now so obviously the goal is to get that up to his age level.

    I get SO MAD when my father in law corrects him on sounds I know he can't make yet (which the therapist said we shouldn't do so now I get to tell FIL to shut it) and I don't want him to be unable to make friends because he can't or won't talk to the other kids :(

    Just need to get all this stuff in motion I guess
     
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