Welcome to MTurk Crowd

Work on Amazon Mechanical Turk, learn from the best, and have fun doing it. Join the crowd today!

Sign Up

sad pandas support group

Discussion in 'Social Discussion' started by Eetha, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. savvylabell

    savvylabell
    Expand Collapse
    NOT JADED :)

    • Contributor
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2017
    Messages:
    2,999
    Likes:
    8,456

    You're making a difference at your job - you're paying bills.

    It's a small thing but it is making a difference to you. I understand the struggle though but that is the positive. You have a job. You can do something.

    Good luck.
     
    Vanyanka, Binxybaby and Sondi like this.
  2. themildone

    themildone
    Expand Collapse
    the real Jaded

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    14,405
    Likes:
    31,129
    I'm so overwhelmed it's unreal. Douchebag ex responded to the court about what he wants for custody, and it's way too much. I can't find the form I need to file for a hearing, and I'm pretty sure we're approaching the default judgement date. The attorney and paralegal I was working with through the free legal aid society isn't fucking returning any of my 4 calls (1 a week) despite their policy to return all calls within 2 business days. Oh, and I have 17 stitches on my leg from a cut that didn't happen quite how I said it did. I just want to ignore everything and go to sleep, but OH! Kiddo is trying to drop his nap that he still DESPERATELY needs, so I can't take a nap!
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    Binxybaby, savvylabell and Vanyanka like this.
  3. savvylabell

    savvylabell
    Expand Collapse
    NOT JADED :)

    • Contributor
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2017
    Messages:
    2,999
    Likes:
    8,456
    Why do I need to keep coming here because something in my life has to go wrong?


    I went on a great first date last night with a very exuberant fun person.



    This morning I get a text from my mother that my cat attacked her cat again, and they need to go. And my other cat has blood in her stool.


    So I'm not allowed to just have a good day.

    She told me to give them away

    (note, a co worker told me to give my mom away then.)

    I'm struggling to find a place for them to live. I refuse to give them away.
     
    Vanyanka likes this.
  4. themildone

    themildone
    Expand Collapse
    the real Jaded

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    14,405
    Likes:
    31,129
    I feel like I'm on a roller coaster or something. One day I'm depressed and thinking my son/the world would be better off without me, and the next I'm happy and feel like I have a fulfilling life. Wtf is going on? Things have been going good with my boyfriend. Money has been good, my son is going to have an awesome Christmas. I was having a really bad day yesterday, and my boyfriend surprised me with flowers and cookies. Today he let me have my Christmas present early...a Kuerig. No one has ever bought me something that expensive. So what the hell is wrong with me? Today has been good, I can't believe I've been feeling depressed/suicidal lately, but yesterday was...horrible. I wanted so badly to self-harm, but after the incident last week I can't, especially since I still have to get my stitches out so the dr. would see. I just want to stop feeling like this.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    Vanyanka likes this.
  5. electrolyte

    electrolyte
    Expand Collapse
    The Ghost of MTurk Past

    • Contributor
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2016
    Messages:
    19,184
    Likes:
    45,939
    Seattle Crisis Clinic has a 24/7 hotline for people in crisis who need someone to talk to urgently. (1-866-427-4747)

    However, they also have a non-crisis "warm line" which is a number anyone can call if they're having a bad day, need some empathy, or just want to vent about something. You don't have to live in Seattle to call. The line is open 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. (Pacific Time) Wednesday through Sunday, closed Christmas Day. The number is 1-877-500-9276.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  6. Jaded

    Jaded
    Expand Collapse
    The real themildone

    • Administrator
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2016
    Messages:
    42,604
    Likes:
    110,054
    I'm watching this little baby, she's two months old. I call her Nugget. Her parents didn't like her and the dad broke a lot of her bones. She's okay now, all healed. She's supposed to be going to a real foster home (instead of my sister's temporary emergency home) I just love her and I didn't mean to like her because she's not related to us, she's going to be adopted out and I'll probably never see her again but she is just so sweet and I don't understand why anyone would hurt her. I just want to keep her forever and i think I seriously would try if it weren't for having to take both her and her brother (I wouldn't be able to handle both) and also that fiance would flip his shit and we'd break up. Lol. okay I'm done rambling. She just made a soft sad sound and it made me cry because I just love tiny babies as much as I love tiny kittens.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  7. themildone

    themildone
    Expand Collapse
    the real Jaded

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    14,405
    Likes:
    31,129
    oh my goodness. You're a saint. Just try to remember that you're giving her a great home while you can. :hugs:
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    Jaded likes this.
  8. Brocktoon

    Brocktoon
    Expand Collapse
    Hey man, you fuckin' know Belvedere?

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2016
    Messages:
    608
    Likes:
    1,595
    I always feel like my body is just falling apart. I'm 33, and most days I feel like I'm 73. I honestly can't remember the last time I had a day where everything just felt good. Something always hurts. I had a terrible migraine all day today and couldn't do much but sit in my recliner under my bed comforter, in the dark. Tried to nap but it didn't help. Between physical pain and Depression, I don't know how much longer I can fight. And I don't know why. I ask myself the usual questions you all probably ask yourself. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Am I being punished for that one thing I said to that one person that one time years ago?

    I don't know why I'm writing this or even what I'm trying to say. Other people have it worse, and it's not like I take great care of myself to begin with. I just don't know how much more I can take. I don't know anything...
     
    Evergreen Queen and savvylabell like this.
  9. JenniLeigh

    JenniLeigh
    Expand Collapse
    Batch Bettah Have My Money

    • Contributor
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    16,783
    Likes:
    32,494
    I love you so much.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  10. Jaded

    Jaded
    Expand Collapse
    The real themildone

    • Administrator
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2016
    Messages:
    42,604
    Likes:
    110,054
    oh boy I'm an idiot
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    savvylabell and A6_Foul_Out like this.
  11. themildone

    themildone
    Expand Collapse
    the real Jaded

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    14,405
    Likes:
    31,129
    Yesterday was the 1 year mark since I lost Ashton. I did okay yesterday, but I just found out a guy I went to high school with just lost his 2 month old, and I'm looking at all these adorable pictures of his teeny baby and I'm so sad. I know it's completely ridiculous to compare losing a 2 month old to miscarrying at 6 weeks, but it's really triggering me. I want to know what my little girl would have looked like and what her laugh would have sounded like. My son hasn't been listening to me all day so having to repeatedly yell at him to get him to stop messing with stuff he shouldn't be is making me feel like a monster mom.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  12. Jaded

    Jaded
    Expand Collapse
    The real themildone

    • Administrator
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2016
    Messages:
    42,604
    Likes:
    110,054
    The little ones are going to their foster to adopt home tomorrow. I knew they wouldn't be staying but I"m still pretty sad about them leaving. I'm smooshing the nugget with all my love before she goes and I Know it's spiteful but I hope she never sees her parents again. I hope she gets adopted and is never told because she doesn't need that kind of negativity in her life.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  13. themildone

    themildone
    Expand Collapse
    the real Jaded

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    14,405
    Likes:
    31,129
    That isn't spiteful at all. Just based on your last post about them, about her broken bones, her bio parents do not deserve her. I said this in Slack earlier but then had to leave so I don't know if you saw or responded, but you did an amazing thing taking her in. You may not have had her long, but I can guarantee you had a lasting positive impact on her emotional development. :hug:
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  14. Jaded

    Jaded
    Expand Collapse
    The real themildone

    • Administrator
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2016
    Messages:
    42,604
    Likes:
    110,054
    :hug: thanks.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    themildone likes this.
  15. themildone

    themildone
    Expand Collapse
    the real Jaded

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2016
    Messages:
    14,405
    Likes:
    31,129
    I don't really have any words for how much today sucks. I got into it with my sister because she asks at least 3 times a week if I can watch her kids for her, and guilts me if I don't. I told her no for the first time today and she went off on me. Then my mom did the same. But no one watches my son, and no one cares that I watch her kids all the time, or that when I watch them I can't work so I lose money but they won't pay me for watching them.

    So that was a good start to the day. Then I find out that my dad checked himself out of the hospital (after checking himself into the psych ward last night) and basically said fuck it, he isn't going back. So he's still suicidal/probably homicidal and he's just not dealing with it. On top of that, his obvious skin cancer is spreading and he just...doesn't care. And he hasn't had his liver levels checked in 2 years (After having one removed because of stage IV renal cancer), and his skin is turning yellowish and he's losing weight (the first signs of his cancer the first time) but he also just doesn't care. I don't want him to die, but no one can talk any sense into him.

    Then I came across a link to an article on anorexia on facebook and I, being stupid, read it. It had pictures of anorexic girls in it and of course that triggered me, which is why I never should have clicked it in the first place. Then, being stupid again, I went through old pictures of me when I was at my lowest weight and that made me feel even worse because now I'm fucking huge and fat and gross.

    So yeah. Today has been fun and it doesn't look like it's going to get any better.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  16. Evergreen Queen

    Evergreen Queen
    Expand Collapse
    A very rich widow with a terrible secret.

    • Contributor
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,611
    Likes:
    9,269
    :(:hug2:
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    Vanyanka, themildone and A6_Foul_Out like this.
  17. Binxybaby

    Binxybaby
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2017
    Messages:
    2,799
    Likes:
    6,897
    Family sucks. I hate when people get taken advantage of and arent shown appreciation. You dont deserve that.
    You are not huge and fat and gross! You are beautiful!
    Im sorry about your dad, hopefully he'll come to his senses and get help because other people care about him.
    :hug:
     
    A6_Foul_Out, Vanyanka and themildone like this.
  18. savvylabell

    savvylabell
    Expand Collapse
    NOT JADED :)

    • Contributor
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2017
    Messages:
    2,999
    Likes:
    8,456
    hug

    I'm sorry there isn't much to do about family. You cannot control or change them.

    Hope your dad realizes HE needs to do something about himself.
    Also, but healthy. In either direction. And be mentally healthy first. I've never gone into the depths of an eating disorder but got close early last year. I obsessed with what I ate, and would have a panic attack if I ate at the wrong time or ate the wrong thing. Being a woman sucks, its easy to gain a bit, impossible to lose any. Especially after a kid! You will be ok
     
  19. Vanyanka

    Vanyanka
    Expand Collapse
    Mistress of Ennui

    • Contributor
    • Crowd Pleaser
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2016
    Messages:
    32,530
    Likes:
    75,379
    I feel like an idiot for not knowing that you were going through all this. I love you so much and your empathy and love are incredibly strong. It's not spiteful for you to wish that she doesn't see horrible people again and I hope with all my heart that she is able to find a loving, happy home.
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  20. Vanyanka

    Vanyanka
    Expand Collapse
    Mistress of Ennui

    • Contributor
    • Crowd Pleaser
    • HIT Poster
    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2016
    Messages:
    32,530
    Likes:
    75,379
    It sounds like you're just getting punched in the gut with one thing after another but you're still here and you're still getting up and trying. I admire that more than I can say. I wish I could help offer solutions for what is happening in your family but I can only offer my support and promise that I will be there for you. Please never, ever be afraid to reach out if you need help If not to me, then to others. We're all rooting for you.

    I guarantee you are not gross. I've gotten sucked into some of those sites before and decided my BMI was way too high even though I'm perfectly healthy. It's not a good headspace to get into. It's so hard in our culture not to feel like our bodies are gross if they aren't reaching some fucking ridiculous ideal. I think almost all women struggle with that image in the mirror every day, I know I do and sometimes I just want to give up.

    Please know you are not alone. <3
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature